i think this is really how jounin spend their downtime btw

[tozette]

It was noon on Tuesday and Kakashi and Gai were juggling furniture in the jounin lounge. The rules were as simple as they were brutal: you hit a wall, you lost; you dropped something, you lost; you couldn't go on, you lost.

They'd attracted a crowd of onlookers — most of whom were standing or sitting on the floor, because chairs were lighter than the other furniture. Cushions didn't count.

Sweat beaded on Gai's face, which was contorted and flushed red with the exertion of tossing around a battered, leather-upholstered armchair at the same arc and speed as he threw a much lighter (ex—) wall-mounted screen.

"I'd have gone for the black chairs, probably," Asuma opined to Kurenai, who was seated with him on the floor against the far wall, well out of the danger zone. "They're powder-coated aluminium, they're way lighter."

"But there are five of the wooden ones." Kurenai tapped her chin. "I think Kakashi's strategy's that those will all be the same weight and shape — they'll all move through the air the same."

"Perhaps. But I regrew the leg on that one," Tenzo pointed, and they all watched on with renewed interest as Genma wearily called time — again — and Kakashi reached for the next chair.

The door to the lounge flew open and slammed into the wall with a bang, revealing the unmistakable, curvaceous figure of the Fifth Hokage.

Heads swivelled to look at Tsunade-sama.

The juggling ceased. Kakashi caught the two chairs he had in the air. Gai fumbled the armchair and dropped it back to the floor with an almighty THUD. There was the sound of wood splintering from somewhere deep within the padding and upholstery.

"I need a — " Tsunade started, and then stopped as she took in the scene. "What the hell are you doing?"

Gai took a deep breath. "My rival," he began.

"Stop," Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose. "I don't care. I've a mission for a volunteer —" she waved a thin rice paper scroll, the kind carried by the messenger hawks of Fire Country.

The Hokage had everyone's attention now. The jounin lounge, previously full of acquaintances and friends heckling two idiots juggling the seating, seemed suddenly occupied by a wide array of professional ninja instead.

"Hidden Rock's Arai Haruto crossed the border three hours ago."

Asuma whistled. "He's a big name..."

"Hidden Rock is testing boundaries. We need to send them the message that the Hidden Leaf is committed to defending our borders. Shikaku," she added, looking over her shoulder to where her jounin commander was leaning against the wall across from the door.

He sighed and shifted, pushing away from the wall to come further into the light.

"Aa... Arai is a jounin-ranked genjutsu master who favours earth-type ninjutsu... mostly. His high bounty is because he has a long mission history of industrial sabotage, especially in primary industries, so the representative bodies for agriculture and mining will pay a lot to see him dead."

Kakashi blinked sleepily with his one revealed eye. He raised one hand like a student in class. "I volunteer."

The mission was virtually tailored for him: he was a tracker, highly resistant to genjutsu, and had a lightning affinity that would give him an edge over any earth techniques Arai pulled out.

Tsunade nodded like she'd expected this. "Shikaku will brief you. Leave as soon as you're ready. We don't want to miss this opportunity. The rest of you..." she looked at the discarded chairs and the jounin sitting on the floor. "Clean this up."

Keen to avoid any cleaning, Kakashi disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Kakashi won, anyway," Genma declared, gesturing to the fallen armchair.

Gai clenched his fist over his heart. "Very well. I must acknowledge my defeat..."

"Figure out your forfeit later," Shikaku sighed, turning to leave.